Looking Back: From Darkness to Light in My Art

It’s always a strange feeling revisiting old artwork. Like flipping through an old diary, every piece captures a moment in time, a thought, an influence, a phase. Recently, I took a deep dive into my past work from my school years and one thing became glaringly obvious, my art was dark.  Not just in subject matter, but in tone, in atmosphere and in the emotions it carried. There was an intensity to it, a weight that I don’t think I realised at the time.

Looking back, I can’t help but wonder, why was my art like that?  The answer was probably glaringly obvious, maybe it lay in the music I was listening to.

Soundtracking the Darkness

Music has always been a huge influence on my life and in my work.  In my early years, the soundtrack was filled with aggressive, raw energy, a kind of controlled chaos. Bands like Biohazard, Suicidal Tendencies, Body Count, and Pantera were on constant rotation. These cassettes were played to death on my hand-me-down 3 in 1!  It clearly was shaping, not only my mood but also the themes I gravitated toward in my art.  Their music was hard-hitting, confrontational and unapologetic.  These qualities bled into my work unconsciously.

Looking back at the pieces I made during that time, there’s a distinct heaviness to them.  The imagery was often bleak, insular, and depressing. Anger, frustration and rebellion were recurring themes, though I really don’t think I was even fully conscious of it.  It wasn’t that I was necessarily an angry person.  I just think that kind of music amplified the intensity in my creative process.  The mix of hardcore riffs, politically charged lyrics and relentless energy pushed my art into darker territories.

A Shift in Sound, A Shift in Art

It wasn’t until my mid to late teens that I started to break away from that heaviness. My music taste shifted, not completely, but enough to introduce new elements into my work. Bands like Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana and Faith No More started creeping into my collection of cassette tapes, suddenly, things weren’t so serious anymore. There was still depth and emotion in their music, but there was also irony, humour and playfulness.

That shift in tone translated directly into my art. I started incorporating wit, sarcasm, and a more tongue-in-cheek approach to what I was producing. Instead of just channeling raw energy, I found ways to bring in a sense of fun. My art became less about intensity and more about connection, whether that was through a clever phrase, a nostalgic reference, or a character that made people smile.

Finding the Joy in Creation

Now, my work has done a complete 180.  My childhood influences are still there, but they’ve evolved into something much more celebratory.  I’ve come to realize that the impact I want to have isn’t to make people to think and feel heavy, I simply want to make them smile. Whether it’s through a witty line, a familiar character, or the way I use color and texture, my goal is to create work that brings joy.

That doesn’t mean my past art was meaningless or is now irrelevant, or even something to shy away from. It was part of my process, a necessary chapter in my artistic growth.  I now know what I want my work to do in the world, and for me, that’s worth more than any technical skill or artistic trend.

Art evolves just like we do, and Im really happy mine has found the light.

As always, thank you for reading.

Ax